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Colours of the night.

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Home -> Forums -> Other Poetry -> Colours of the night.
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backstreetdreamer
Young Dreamer


Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 49
Location: Ashington(England)
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PostPosted: Friday, 16 October 2009, 6:51 AM    Post subject: Colours of the night. Reply with quote

Neon rainbows write themselves upon the harbour’s flow
Like modernistic madrigals that hide the moon’s soft glow,
And starlit silver shadowed shapes dance gently to the sea
On multitudes of greys and golds that wave farewell to me,
Bright crystal goblet promises are held up to the sky
To toast the breath of evening like the twinkling of an eye,
Everywhere is movement just like fluttering windblown lace
As beneath the spectral lamplight, night soft whispers kiss my face.


And on the cliff top, moonlight paints the Abbey’s ghostly crown
While inside the silent graveyard, laid in threadbare shades of brown,
So many granite grey remembrances, eroded slabs of time
The total sum of every loss, in textured shades of rhyme,
While upon the lonely cliff top, silver fingers touched the night
And trailed along the clouds of dawn, to sketch them diamond bright,
While the ancient cross of Caedmon cast its mark upon the ground
As long lost cloisters rang with song, although there was no sound.


Somewhere from a window, starlit eyes looked on the dawn
With such a sense of innocence, like wishes being born,
She had sailed the sea of rainbows, and had touched the colours there
With a sense of Déjà vu, for there was no need for despair,
Then she looked up to the Abbey, and could hear the matins ring
With a prayer for their deliverance, she could feel them softly sing,
While the trawlers came home safely to the harbours outstretched arms
Just like Jesus on a donkey, as he rode upon the palms…
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Maggie
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Joined: 10 Aug 2005
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Location: Eastern USA
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votes: 103
Currently Reading: "Snippets of Life" by Peggy Harwood

PostPosted: Friday, 16 October 2009, 7:06 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Dreamer,

It's great to see another post from you!! It's been a long time since you've visited and I'm so glad you have! I do just love the way you write: Much detail, excellent word choice, and flowing rhythms! Wow! blob3 blob6 blob3 blob6 blob3 blob6

This poem is just lovely to my ear, but I plan on perusing it again later as I am perplexed and curious as to whether I like the change from present tense to past tense somewhere in the second stanza.

I'll be back later.

Peggy

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"Then he thinks he knows/ The hills where his life rose/ And the sea where it goes." from the "Buried Life" by Matthew Arnold
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poet1108
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
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PostPosted: Friday, 16 October 2009, 7:29 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good Morning, Dreamer: I, too, concur with Peggy's comments--much detail, excellent word choice, and flowing rhythms! I applaud your efforts and look forward to reading more of your writes......KayD
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Voyager
Master Of The Craft


Joined: 06 May 2008
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Location: UK
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Currently Reading: Nicholas Nickleby

PostPosted: Friday, 16 October 2009, 7:33 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I loved the alliteration in your poem and the imagery was beautiful. I particularly liked 'moon’s soft glow, ' and 'eroded slabs of time'.

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Your best piece of art will always be that which you haven't made yet.
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Sher49
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Joined: 12 Oct 2009
Posts: 118
Location: Indian Country, Turtle Island
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votes: 4
Currently Reading: Bag of Bones

PostPosted: Friday, 16 October 2009, 9:58 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello there. First of all, I want to thank you so much for sharing your poem with us, and secondly, I loved every single word of it!! I think it's perfect as is! Your rhythm is good, as is the rhyming, and the imagery is fantastic!! All together this made for a great poem. So hats off to you, and Bravo!! This I conclude is a masterpiece in every way!!

Thank you,
Sher


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