I never

[Tork]

I Never relaxed; I always tensed up.

My Body and Mind always anticipated

Of the Pain that was to be inflicted,

From the Procedures to be done.

I fought in my Mind to overcome them all.

I played them over and over.

And my Guard never relinquished.

And my Guard always rebelled.

It caused me new problems;

My Body and Mind began to shut down.

They didn't allow me to experience

The Joy of a job well done.



I Never told anyone and why?

Because I did not know myself.

I denied myself the joy I was feeling;

I just shut that joy off.

I Never took a breath.

I continued to flinch,

But it never released.

With Love that was given so true,

I Never gave it up not even with you.

I so want those things—

Things that I denied my Mind and Body.

Can I find it with you?



I think if gave myself a chance

And let those things all go,

The road to happiness

Wouldn't be that road to hoe.

For to feel again would bring such peace.

I Never told you just how I felt,

All that made you precious to me.

My wish is for total release;

No more hurt, no more pain,

No more hurtful words, or total disdain.

Finally I can reach for my heart again

And perhaps maybe even yours.



I want to tour my Mind and Body

And share all those things

That made us, Us.

I want to move forward and up.

I am tired of wallowing

In this cloud of mistrust.

Please read my words and

Please give me a chance.

I Never ever relented;

I Never ever forgot,

Let’s be us now and forever…

And not be Never

(c) Tork


A revelation I had this Morning. I could not have fully realized this with Out the Help Of My Nig Sis, Thank you Kay for your Help and critique..

I have a renewed out look on things today

All things are possible with God through Him and In Him... Amen

[poet1108]

Hey Bestest Lil Bro, Kevin....it was my delight to work with you and even more I am ever so glad to see a turning in your thought processes! Keep looking up..... He's looking down and you will overcome and one day soon, we'll hear you shout a big YAHOO! You continue to have my love and prayers and encouraging support....KayD

[Joyful Jan]

Dear Kevin,

How deeply profound. I could feel the pain, your pain. Then the hope, always hold on to hope, with every fiber within you. This is such a release of tension. Keep writing, keep reaching. Kay and I both are praying.

Love and Hugs Jan

[Helen Herliana]

Kevin, Kay once told me that I can't say "I know or I understand how you feel" because I really don't know or understand how you feel and what you are going through. BUT there is someone who is with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 months a year, 366 days a year without a break. His name is Jesus. His love is eternal and he promises to give us an eternal life with Him one day.

[Wordworx]

This is often how it happens, Kevin: God sends us wisdom and understanding at the time He knows is right . . . at the time He knows we will listen, and not simply brush it off as errant thoughts.

Indeed, Life is an ongoing school of sorts, for it is a continual learning process. There is no formula for success, except an unconditional acceptance of Life and what it brings.

No matter what our personal circumstances may be, great adventures still lie before us all---provided we are willing to undertake them.

All these concepts, and more, I see encompassed in this verse, sir! So keep on keeping on.

Roy Reiterating

[Peggy Carpenter Harwood]

Welcome, Tork,

It sounds as if you've suffered a great deal in your life, but many have suffered and learned from it and triumphed over the pain with the needed support system. Personally I believe that sometimes it's impossible to pull ourselves up by our own boot straps so to speak. Friendship, faith and the catharsis and release through writing are very positive steps I believe! Sometimes that's not enough, however; and we should consider good, competent, and highly recommended counseling. Unfortunately, most "clients" in counseling are women, for it seems many men feel compelled to go it alone. Such a mistake in my opinion.

As for you, I am encouraged that you already seem to have faith, friendship and are taking steps to "talk about" and verbalize your thoughts. Way to go!!!

Oh, and if you have access to one, try to get a counselor too!!

Again, welcome!!!

Peggy

[SShakela]

A profound write on your innermost feelings, Kev; one which I admire most about you! Your write will finally set you on the path that shows victory and triumph over all your hardships. Keep writing, dear Kev. God bless you and all those you love.